


Nobody Said it was Easy

by TARDISTraveller42



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Crew as Family, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Mission Fic, Platonic Relationships, Survivor Guilt, Temporary Character Death, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23288869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TARDISTraveller42/pseuds/TARDISTraveller42
Summary: Will Riker is leading a mission that should be easy. 'Should' being the key word. When members of his crew are injured in the fallout, how will he forgive himself? As a commander, shouldn't he have been better? 'Should' being the key word again. Because he wasn't better. And now he and his crew are paying for it.
Relationships: Crew of the Starship Enterprise and William Riker, Data & Geordi La Forge, William Riker & Deanna Troi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter One

Nobody Said it was Easy

Someday they’d laugh about all of this. Some day they’d sit in Ten-Forward throwing back glasses of synthehol, joking about this ridiculous disaster of a mission. Someday, Will would forgive himself for leading an away team with as many casualties as there were crew members. Someday he’d thank the gods that the casualties were only injuries, not deaths.

But today was not someday. Today was today; and it had not been a good day.

. . . . . . . . .

They were on a mission to a new planet. ‘They’ being Will, Data, and Geordi. Installing new technology, that’s all. Just in and out. No need to linger on this dry desert planet. Just explain the technology to the planet’s leading scientists, get back to the shuttle, and return to the Enterprise. Easy as pie.

Except, of course, missions never did go to plan, did they? 

Geordi and Data were working on the generators and turbines, as Will discussed policy with one of the world leaders. Everything was running smoothly. They were even joking around a bit with the locals. Data had memorized their entire language, so he and Geordi were having fun with all of the colloquialisms of the region. Will and the diplomats got through the policy fast enough, so now they were just hanging out. Chatting. Relaxed. Leaned on walls and tables, easy-going smiles on all faces.

And that’s when they attacked. 

‘They’, this time, meaning the dissidents. A rival group that the locals had, for whatever reason, forgot to mention. They stormed in with weapons, face masks, body armor. Looking like a small army.

Will, Data, and Geordi were on the defense as soon as they crashed through the door. With the diplomats’ security team, they had at least a small chance of holding them back. But there were so many scientists and world leaders to protect in this small, crowded space designed for engineering crews. And the scientists weren’t used to this sort of thing, so they went running. And then the diplomats also went running.

Now, everybody was running.

Weapons blasted, here and there. Above and beside, as they zig-zagged and tried not to crash into each other. All the while, the dissidents shouted; cried their taunts. At Starfleet, at the government; everyone involved. 

By Will’s estimation, which was, admittedly, limited, the group felt that the government was corrupt and that, in aiding them, Starfleet must also be corrupt.

They didn’t seem inclined to discuss the matter any further.

Leading the way, the diplomats and scientists made it out the door first. Into the open air. Into the desert. Will gripped his phaser tighter in his hand and made a few gestures to the security guards, hoping they would understand. Data assisted, translating everything perfectly. Then he and Will shared a nod.

One last nod.

Into the room stormed the dissidents, yet again. But this time, they were ready for them. Or, at least, they thought they were ready. With two security guards and three Starfleet officers, they should have been ready.

They were not ready.

“Fire!” Will shouted, to his crew and to his new teammates on the security force. 

They all did as they were told. They all fired, they all aimed as well as they could in this dark, cramped space in an awkward hallway. But the dissidents aimed better; fired better. As if they were enhanced somehow. Their every shot hit its mark. 

The security guard to Will’s left went down.

“Commander!” Geordi shouted suddenly.

Will spun around, only to find two more assailants coming their way. Weapons drawn. Bright red eyes gleaming from behind their masks.

The security guard to his right went down. Now it was just he, Data, and Geordi.

“Data, you go-”

The rest of Will’s sentence was lost in a cry of shock, as he dropped to his knees cradling his arm. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes. Ah, thank God, he was alive. And he even still had an arm. Only a bad flesh wound; he’d be alright.

He looked up in time to return fire, taking down the guy who’d hit him. Just enough to knock him out; they were still on a mission of peace, after all. No need to do permanent harm to people they didn’t really know about yet. God, for all they knew, the dissidents were the good guys and Starfleet had read the whole situation wrong.

Will shook his head to clear it. Thinking like that wasn’t helpful; not now. There’d be plenty of time for that later.

If there was a later.

He fired again; took down another one of the attackers. Geordi and Data had been busy as well. The sound of phaser fire was quieting. Only one or two left, surely. 

Will peeked over the crate he was hiding behind. But there was nobody there. Surely there were still assailants? He had heard more fire, he would swear-

“Geordi!” Data shouted.

Will’s head whipped around, back to his teammates. And the next second was the slowest of his life. He was stuck still as he watched it play out.

First, he took in the situation. Geordi and Data were standing side by side, staring into the shadows by the door. What were they looking at? Ah, the missing assailant, of course. Holding a phaser, of course.

Will’s brain only now started registering what was happening. His jaw started dropping. But there was no time; no time at all. 

The phaser was firing. He could practically see the blue spark emitting from its point. Watched it approach his crew, as if it were moving in slow motion.

Data glanced to his left; saw Geordi; pushed Geordi aside. Took his place at the last millisecond.

The phaser hit its target.

Data was lit up like a Christmas tree. Blue lightning struck straight into his chest, and then spider webbed up and down his body.

Will heard himself call out. Heard Geordi call out. Heard Data crash, hard, onto the floor. Heard his own phaser fire at the assailant.

And then he heard nothing, as the room filled with a terrible silence.

Geordi moved first, stumbling over to Data. With his VISOR, he looked him over the way only he knew how. But Will stayed on the alert. What if there was another? What if they’d missed-

“Geordi, look out!” he shouted, turning on his heel and whipping out his phaser, yet again.

Geordi moved instinctively to protect Data. Made himself as big as he could, facing the new threat with the courage of a mother bear protecting her cub. For his efforts, he received a shot of electricity to his shoulder, and then another to his leg. He landed right beside Data’s; scaring Will in a way he wasn’t used to being scared.

Somehow, in his fury and his fear, Will managed to fire at the last attacker. Watched him fall to the ground with a nauseating sense of justice. And then, somehow, he managed to find his way over to his crewmates.

“Geordi?” he asked, finding his voice to be rather small and weak. He shook the engineer’s good arm. “Geordi, talk to me.”

Nope. He wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon.

“Data?” he tried, shifting over to the android’s head. 

At least Data’s eyes were closed. Will hated when he was shut down with eyes open. At least now he could pretend he was just sleeping.

Will cursed at himself. Felt anger bubbling up in his chest; tears blinking, stinging, into his eyes. What a horrible mission. Led by him, a horrible commander. His whole team down. The mission failed. 

That wasn’t the worst part. He could live with being a mediocre commander; he wouldn’t like it, but he could live with it. The worst part was, he’d let his friends down. His best friends, unresponsive because of a mission he was in command of. A mission he’d talked them into, because he didn’t want to be stuck with people he didn’t know on a diplomatic mission. He’d thought it would be boring.

Hah.

“Geordi; Data,” he tried one more time. Failing that, he closed his eyes, hanging his head. “I’m sorry.”

After a few minutes, Will decided that the scientists and politicians weren’t coming back. He would have to get his crew back to the shuttle himself. And that was alright. It was his penance. 

He dragged Data out first, surmising that Geordi would feel much lighter in comparison. 

He was right, of course. His injured arm cried out as soon as he started to lift Data. A moment to catch his breath, with Data’s head resting against his chest, and then Will forced himself up. Forced his arms, his legs, his whole body to move with Data in tow. Out the door. Across 100 yards of dry desert air. Into the shuttle. And, somehow, with one last surge of energy, he managed to maneuver Data into one of the seats.

Attempting to catch his breath again, Will buckled Data into the seatbelt that usually went unutilized. Made sure he looked relatively comfortable. Offered a few murmured apologies.

And then he went back for Geordi.

Another trek, his injured arm aching. Another battle of will. Another stumbling display of strength. And Geordi was seated beside Data, locked in and ready for the long journey back to the Enterprise.

Will took his own place in the cockpit. Looked back at his friends and felt a deep pang of loneliness he’d never experienced before; not while in Starfleet. Not while in a shuttle with his fellow officers. It hurt so bad he turned away. Back to the controls. Back in control. 

Will tapped the comm panel.

“Riker here. We’re going to be back a little sooner than expected.”


	2. Chapter Two

Will was still in sickbay when the daytime crew shifted into the nighttime crew. His eyes had memorized the chairs and wall in front of him; his ears had grown accustomed to the background chatter of medical terms and various machines. 

He cradled his bandaged arm closer to himself. Hardly reacted when the door slid open for the tenth time that day.

“Will,” said Picard, voice soft. He wasn’t in ‘captain mode’ at this time of night, after this kind of day. He sat in one of the uncomfortable seats beside Will without a word.

“I’m sorry,” Will said suddenly, rubbing his tired eyes. “I forgot to brief you after we got back.”

“Don’t worry about it. President Shay told me what happened.” Picard sighed, folding his hands in front of him. “I informed Starfleet. They’ll let us know what we’re supposed to do.”

“I don’t think I can go back down there,” Will admitted, looking toward the floor.

“No, no,” said Picard. “Don’t worry about any of that. You’ve been through enough on this mission.”

Will wasn’t sure about that. Oh, he felt horrible. But all he had to show for it was a measly arm covered in bandages. The last time he’d seen Data, he’d been surrounded by five different medical personnel. 

Picard breathed out another sigh, leaning forward in his seat. “Has Beverly let you see them yet?”

Will shook his head. It had, surprisingly, only been three hours since they’d gotten back. It felt like much longer. 

Picard stood suddenly, and went to the door that Will was forbidden from entering. He walked through it without hesitation, leaving Will on his own again.

He rubbed his hands together fitfully, foot tapping up and down. Maybe no news had been good news. Because now, as he waited for Picard to return with an update, his stomach was feeling nauseated. What if…? No. Will would never consider that possibility. His crew was going to be fine. They had to be.

“Will?” Picard called from the doorway. He wore a gentle smile that eased the tension in Will’s shoulders. “You can come in now. I’ve managed to bribe Beverly.”

Will found himself able to smile at that, the first time he’d done such a thing since the siege. Eager to see his friends, he followed Picard into the room. Took a deep breath as his eyes fell on Geordi and Data, sleeping peacefully in the two beds that occupied this room.

Geordi’s VISOR sat on the bedside table as he slept. His right shoulder and chest were covered in bandages similar to Will’s. The leg injury was hidden by the blue sickbay blanket, neatly tucked into the bed. 

He looked okay. Harmed, but okay.

Will sighed with relief, then turned to Data.

Data had a few extra monitors, plugged into various ports on his exposed chest. Otherwise, he seemed to be in the same quiet state as Geordi. The monitors were calm for now, too. Will could remember hearing their shrill beeping earlier, as technicians and doctors spoke in hurried tones. 

“They’re both alright,” Beverly said, appearing suddenly at Will’s side. Her fingers traced up and down the PADD she held, a small sign of her own hidden anxieties. “We had some trouble with Data earlier. The electrical shock threw off all of his systems, especially his heart. But we managed to get it beating again.”

A shiver ran up Will’s spine. If Picard noticed, he didn’t say anything. Only stared at his Number One with a great deal of sympathy.

“When are they going to wake up?” Will asked, when he was sure his voice was steady.

Beverly shrugged. “It could be tonight, it could be next week. We’re expecting Geordi to wake up sooner rather than later. But don’t quote me on that.”

Will mimicked keeping his lips sealed, and then turned back to his two crewmates. He leaned on the frame of Data’s bed, staring at the android with a frown. Beverly pretended she needed to go grab something, and left the room. She shut the door behind her.

The other two men were silent for a moment. Until Picard took a tentative step forward and said, “Will?”

Will didn’t look at him. Didn’t look at anything, really. Just stared into space, eyes locked somewhere between Data’s chest and head. He tried not to think about the wires reaching up from under the blanket, across Data’s shoulder and up to the monitors beside the bed.

“It’s not your fault,” Picard said simply.

Will’s head drooped. “Isn’t it? I was in command. I should have learned more about the situation before letting them in there.”

Picard took another step toward him. “No, I should have learned more about the situation before I sent you. Starfleet should have been informed about the risks. Nothing here was your fault.”

Will shook his head. “I put the team together. I should have brought some security; then we would’ve been able to defend ourselves better.”

Picard’s hand landed on his shoulder.

“Will, I know how you’re feeling right now.” Picard was calm, but his tone told Will to hang onto his every word. “I feel it every time one of you ends up in here. I’m feeling it right now, just as you are.”

Will shook his head, tightening his hold on the railing of Data’s bed. 

“But I was with them. I was in command. We should’ve been able to fight those guys off.”

“Will…”

“There were only, what? Six of them? Maybe seven?”

“Will,” Picard said firmly.

Will let his shoulder drop. Both men let a moment of silence pass between them.

“I don’t even know what kind of weapons they had,” Will said quietly. His knuckles were turning white. “It was like a bolt of lightning. And they hit Data right in the chest. I thought...I thought he was…”

“Will.” 

This time, Picard’s voice was a whisper. But it was strong enough to break something in Will. A tear finally made it out of his eye; tracked down his face. He wiped it into his sleeve with an air of nonchalance. Sniffed once, and then swallowed the rest of his feelings.

“All you can ask of yourself is to do the best that you can,” said Picard. “Look-” he smiled, gesturing to both of the men sleeping in front of them. “You got them home safe. That’s all we can ask for, on days like this.”

Will nodded. Wiped away another stray tear. Then breathed, stood tall, and rolled his shoulders back, grimacing at the twinge in his left arm.

“Get some sleep tonight, Number One.” Picard patted him once more on the back, and then started out the door. 

“Thank you, Jean-Luc,” Will said quietly. 

They shared a soft smile before Picard disappeared out the door. Beverly stepped back into the room as soon as he’d left; maybe by coincidence or maybe by design. Either way, Will was happy to see her. Happy not to be alone in here.

“I’ll keep a close eye on them,” she assured. “You take care of that arm of yours.”

“Will do.” Will ran his fingertips over the bandages on his arm, frowning as he looked from Data to Geordi. “Let me know if anything happens.”

“I will.” Beverly playfully pushed him toward the door. “Now go to bed. Doctor’s orders.”

Will half-heartedly mocked a salute, and then forced himself to leave. One last glance, to both of his men, and then the door closed in front of his face. 

. . . . . .

Will was back in sickbay when it happened.

He stood by the door, staring into space as doctors and nurses went about their duties around him. Beverly threw him a quick smile as she passed by. Maybe she made a comment about his arm, or his contemplative face. He wasn’t paying close enough attention.

And then a monitor by Data’s bed started beeping frantically.

Will’s head whipped toward the sound, and then to Data. He was breathing fast and ragged, in an almost human sort of way. Will stepped forward, and then was pushed aside by nurses who were rushing to the scene. He allowed it; allowed them to take control and leave him standing by the wall.

They surrounded the bed, hiding it from Will’s view. Spoke in quiet tones that grew and grew in volume as they worked. As the monitors whirred more and more loudly. As Will’s heart beat faster and faster.

“He’s crashing,” one of them stated, firm and clear above all of the other clamor. 

Will paced forward, until he could see over the shortest heads. He glimpsed Data’s face, eyes open wide as his head jerked back and forth. Glimpsed the pairs of hands connecting wires here and there, all over his chest and neck. Glimpsed the worried expressions on all of the nurses’ faces. 

Glimpsed the distraught expression Beverly wore, as she stared at her charge with unblinking eyes.

“Data,” Will breathed, stepping forward again. 

Data’s eyes turned to him; bore into his own. And then the monitors flatlined, and Will’s heart leaped into his throat, and Data’s head tilted back onto the pillow. His eyes leaked a tear of yellow engine oil.

And then Will woke up.

. . . . . . .

Gasping, clutching his blankets so tightly they almost shredded in his hand, Will opened his eyes to find his darkened bedroom surrounding him. His hand shook as he turned on a light. Looked around and let his heart calm down a little bit.

Just a dream; just a dream; just a dream.

He tapped his comm badge and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Riker to Dr. Crusher.”

“Will?” She asked. “Is everything alright?”

Ah, he probably sounded as horrible as he felt. God, those yellow eyes still haunted him every time he blinked. 

“How’s Data?”

“He’s fine.”

He breathed, shutting his eyes. Leaned his head back onto his pillow and let himself sink into it.

Beverly continued, “I’ve been watching them all night for you.”

“Thank you.” Will calmed his breath again. Focused. In; out.

“Will, are you okay?”

“I’m...I’m fine.” He smiled. Let himself start to drift off again. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Bev.”

“See you tomorrow.”


	3. Chapter Three

“Will,” his comm badge chirped in Beverly’s voice.

“What?” Will rolled over with his eyes still closed. He slid his arm under his pillow, trying to get more comfortable.

“Will, they’re both awake.”

His eyes shot open. Everything from last night came flooding back to him so fast it made his head hurt. The attack; sickbay; the dream (nightmare). Will shoved the blankets off of himself and stumbled out of bed. 

“I’ll be right there.”

He adjusted his wrinkled, slept-in uniform. Checked himself in the mirror and ran some water through his hair so he didn’t scare any of the ensigns. Sipped a cup full of mouthwash to clean his teeth, and then hurried out the door. 

When he arrived in sickbay, his eyes were so wide that one of the nurses jumped in alarm. He didn’t care, at the moment, that he looked like a madman. He was a madman on a mission.

“Dr. Crusher is in the back,” said one of the PA’s. 

Will nodded in thanks, and started for the appointed room. The smell of sanitized furniture invaded his nostrils again, reminding him of all of his anxiety from yesterday. But he ignored it. Stepped through the door as soon as it whooshed open.

He smiled wide.

“Geordi!” He called, approaching the bed with his arms wide. 

“Good morning, commander.”

Geordi jerked back, as Will suddenly wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a bear hug.

“Ay!” grunted Geordi. 

“Be careful with that shoulder,” Beverly chided from across the room, where she was scanning Data.

All of the tension in Will’s face and shoulders relaxed when he saw the android, sitting up on the edge of the next bed. 

“Data,” he uttered, letting go of Geordi and pacing across the floor. “Data.”

“Hello, commander,” Data said, with his usual crisp, polite voice. 

Will practically barreled through Beverly, who was trying to check Data’s pupils, wrapped him into an even tighter hug than Geordi’s. He leaned down and kissed the top of his head, and then held his head beneath his chin, against his heaving chest.

He stood like that for a long time, closing his eyes and thanking every god he’d ever learned of.

“Er, Will?” Geordi said, peering over from the other bed.

Will didn’t hear him.

“Will,” said Beverly.

Will didn’t hear her either.

She and Geordi shared a laugh, which lasted until Will finally released Data a full minute later.

“It’s good to see you awake, Data,” Will said, leaving both of his hands on Data’s shoulders.

Data nodded slowly, staring at Will with an incredibly confused expression.

“Thank you, commander. As I do not remember the experience of being unconscious, I cannot compare it to the present moment, however-”

Will cut him off with another hug. Beverly sighed, and pulled him by his good arm until he let go.

“Okay, that’s enough,” she said. “I am still trying to run my diagnostic. We can all have a good hug later.”

Will smiled bashfully, and then stepped back to let her work. 

“What’s gotten into you?” she asked, as she shined a light into Data’s eyes again. 

Will shifted his weight from foot to foot as he was hit, again, with the memory of his nightmare. 

“Guess I didn’t sleep too well last night,” he said. “Had a bit of a nightmare.”

Beverly turned to him sharply. But it was Data that replied first.

“You should talk to Counselor Troi,” he said. “She has been very helpful in deciphering the contents of my dream program.”

Will smiled at the sound of Data’s voice. That nightmare had felt so real, now that he thought about it. Seeing and hearing Data again was like some kind of miracle.

“That’s a good idea, Data. Maybe I will.”

Geordi chimed up, “And I recommend you don’t pay a visit to Ten-Forward. You’re already acting a little strange.”

Will laughed at that, and walked on the balls of his feet over to Geordi’s bed. He didn’t know what to say, so he just clapped Geordi on the back, a good distance from any of his injuries. A moment later, he sobered.

“It’s good to have you back, Geordi. Both of you.”

Geordi’s eyebrows furrowed.

“We were only out for the night. Weren’t we, doc?”

“Okay,” Will interjected. “But...still.”

They shared a look. And then Beverly turned off her scanners and approached Will. Quietly, she said, “We’re going to check Data’s cardiovascular unit now. But I’ll let you know as soon as we’re done so you can come back and see them, okay?”

Will nodded with a frown, but turned it into a smile as he looked up to the other two. 

“I’ll check in on you both later.” 

“Thank you, commander,” they both said, nearly in unison.

Will gave them one last grin before he spun on his heel and exited sickbay.

. . . . . . .

“I don’t know, Deanna,” Will sighed, folding his hands across his stomach as he stared at the office ceiling. “I still feel so...off. Like this all might be a dream.”

“Could it be because of the nightmare you had last night?” she asked, scribbling something in her notepad.

“Could be.” He shifted, all of a sudden feeling uncomfortable on the old leather couch. “Probably.”

Deanna clicked her pen a few times before responding.

“Since your nightmare was so bad, then all of this must seem too good to be true,” she said. 

Will nodded.

“That makes sense.”

“But I promise,” Deanna said, crinkling one of her papers. “This is the real world. And Data and Geordi are fine. Beverly’s giving them both a check-up right now, and she’ll tell us when she’s done.”

“But how do I know that for sure?” Will asked.

Suddenly, something hit him square in the face.

Ah. Deanna’s paper ball.

“That’s how,” she said with a smile.

Will pushed himself into a seated position, catching the paper before it could fall onto the floor. He crumpled and un-crumpled it in his hands for a moment. 

“Ha-ha,” he said sarcastically. 

Deanna leaned forward in her chair, letting her notepad rest on her lap.

“Will...I think you need to speak to both of them. About what’s bothering you. This all must be pretty unnerving for them, as well. They probably want to know what’s going on inside your head, too.”

“I don’t even want to be inside my head right now,” Will muttered. He glanced up to Deanna right away, hoping she hadn’t heard him.

Too late.

“Let’s talk about that,” she said, clicking her pen again. “Because I think that’s really what brought you here today. Not the nightmare; yesterday.”

Will sighed, and looked down at his hands.

“What can I say? I led a mission and it was a disaster. I feel pretty awful about it.”

“What made this one especially difficult?” Deanna asked gently.

Will paused. Dropped the paper in his hands back to the side table and leaned back into the sofa.

“I...I asked them to come specifically. I thought it would be a boring, diplomatic trip and I didn’t want to be stuck with engineers I didn’t know.” He sighed. “And then they both got hurt, and it was my fault. They weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place.”

Deanna didn’t respond right away, just jotted a few things down in her notepad. She waited. Let the silence hang, so that he could fill it himself.

“And then I also feel guilty because…” he broke off and turned toward the wall; the one farthest from himself and Deanna. “Because I feel like I only care this much because it was those two. If I had brought other engineers...I don’t know if I would be this upset. And that makes me feel guilty as hell. A commander shouldn’t have favorites. I should care about everyone equally.”

He bit his bottom lip, shaking his head. This time, Deanna brought down her notepad and folded her hands across her knee.

“I can see a few thinking traps that you’re tending to fall into. Especially this thought that you ‘should’ act a certain way, or feel a certain way. But our feelings don’t have to fall into ‘should’ categories. Our feelings just exist.” She waited until he met her eyes to continue. “You’re human, Will. And humans have people who are closer to them than other people. Even Starfleet commanders. You’re allowed to feel more for your friends than for people you don’t know as well, even when it seems wrong.”

Will nodded.

“I know what you’re saying,” he replied. “But I’m not sure I’m completely convinced.”

“That’s alright, too,” she said with a smile. “Just be a little more gentle with yourself.”

“I’ll try,” he murmured.

His comm badge chirped suddenly. Beverly, telling him that he could visit sickbay again.

He thanked her and stood. Deanna stood too.

“Talk to Geordi and Data,” she said. “I think it’ll help clear your head a bit. And come talk to me again whenever you need to.”

“Thank you, Deanna.” He gave her a genuine smile, and then retreated to the hallway.

. . . . . .

“Hey,” Will said, as he sat backward on one of the chairs in sickbay. “All good?

Data and Geordi were sat up on the beds in front of him, resting, as Beverly stashed all of her equipment away. 

“Yeah,” Geordi responded, glancing to Data.

They sat in awkward silence, until Beverly shut the drawer she was working in and went over to the door.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” she said, just before exiting.

Will let out a breath and took a tighter hold of the chair.

“I’m sorry for making you join me yesterday,” he said bluntly.

Geordi laughed. “I wouldn’t say you ‘made’ us join you. We wanted to see what their tech was like. And, to be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to getting roped into another play rehearsal.” He said this last part with a quick glance to the door Beverly had just left through.

Will’s frown remained set on his face.

“Still...I wasn’t a very good commander yesterday. And it nearly cost you your lives.”

Geordi’s smile slowly faded as Will’s words sank in. 

“I...didn’t know you felt that way,” he said quietly. “We thought it was a pretty standard mission.”

“Data was almost killed!” Will didn’t mean to shout as loud as he did. But he’d been suppressing a little too much all day; ever since the attack, really. And now it was all bubbling to the surface.

“Technically, commander,” Data said, “I only sustained moderate damage.”

“Beverly said your heart stopped. I wouldn’t call that ‘moderate’.”

“My cardiovascular unit is not nearly as important as it is in humans.”

“Still!”

Will shut his eyes for a second, wiping his hand across his weary face. He felt the other two staring at him as he did so. Not judging, of course; just worried. But he didn’t deserve their worry. He was supposed to worry about them.

“Will, are you okay?” Geordi asked.

God, how many people were going to ask him that today?

“Yeah; yeah,” he breathed. Sat back and turned his face up again. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“It appears you are experiencing a minor case of ‘shock’,” explained Data. “It may have been caused by the incident yesterday evening, or the nightmare you had last night.”

Will chuckled.

“You’re starting to sound like Deanna.”

Data sat up straighter, with a tiny smile playing at his lips.

“Thank you, commander,” he said, genuinely grateful.

Will shook his head at himself.

“You’re probably right. But all the same, I needed to let you both know that I never would have brought you with me if I’d known how dangerous it would get.”

“We know you’ve got our back,” Geordi assured. “Next time, we’ll just bring a few extra security. I’m sure they’d love to get out on an away mission again.”

Will nodded. Their chat hadn’t been very substantial, but somehow it had already made him feel a little better. The knot in his chest was mostly gone. And he could finally look Data in the eyes without getting flashbacks of his nightmare. 

“Get well soon,” he said to both of them.

“You as well, commander,” Data replied pointedly. “You were also injured in the fight. Were you not?”

Will traced his fingers along the bandages on his arm.

“Yeah, I was.” He nodded once to each of them. “We’re looking forward to seeing you both back on duty. But enjoy your time off while you have it.”

“Will do,” they both said quietly.

Will breathed out again. The guilt was ebbing, at least. It would take time. Perhaps it would never fully disappear. But he could live with it; he could live with himself. He knew that there would be more days like this. More regrets, more bad decisions, more surprises. But being this crew’s first officer was enough. He could survive the bad days, with them at his side. With them watching his back. And he’d make damn sure they survived, too.


End file.
